Act Like Men

Men’s Leadership Podcast

#6: Spiritual Mentoring – “Why you need a Paul”

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May 19, 2022

Show Notes

The Need: In our last session on Mentoring, we talked about the need for a “Paul” in our life. The reason for this is that it is so much faster to have a guide who has been where you have not yet gone. The journey is so much faster and more effective at growth, avoiding pitfalls, and having someone to keep you moving forward. Without this, it can be like going where you have never gone without any form of GPS to help you get there. It takes longer and you may not ever arrive without this guide.

The Reason: In this podcast we are specifically looking at those beside us to encourage and help hold accountable and those not yet as mature in either age or spiritual experiences for whom we can become involved as other have done for us. This completes a full circle on Matthew 28’s call to discipleship making.

The Resources: Dr. Jim Grassi’s, book The Spiritual Mentor, provides a clear pathway for men to follow to help them become involved in Spiritually Mentoring at any level with those men around us.

The Result: We now can complete this discipling circle when we support our peers in the faith and those who are not as mature as are we. It is the fulfilling of the Great Commission in its entirety.

Looking at your current faith journey, who could be a Barnabas for you and you for them?

Looking at those around you, for whom could be a Paul (them as a Timothy)?

What is your next step?

Transcript

02;56;07;10 – 02;56;35;27
Wendell
Welcome to Act Like Men Men’s Leadership Podcast. This is a podcast designed to be a resource to pastors and men’s leaders as they build out an engaging ministry with their men. We do this because every man deserves an opportunity to become an authentic, biblically based man of God. Act Like Men Podcast is sponsored by Men’s Ministry Catalyst, a ministry and his 41st year.

02;56;36;18 – 02;56;59;21
Wendell
Who’s really doing exactly what we just said guiding churches as they build out an engaging ministry with their men. Good day, everyone. My name is William and I am the Executive Director of Men’s Ministry Catalyst. It’s good to have you here today. You are the reason we exist. I was introduced by co-host Steve Dale using Dale. Welcome to the podcast.

02;56;59;29 – 02;57;01;28
Dale
As always, Wendell, great to be with you.

02;57;04;04 – 02;57;31;28
Wendell
So we have an exciting topic. These next two sessions, we’re going to talk about something that is ultimately beyond ourselves and ultimately life transforming. And in a recent podcast with Dr. Grassi, who is the founder of Minister Catalyst, he mentioned the power of mentorship in a man’s spiritual growth. As a matter of fact, he wrote a book called The Spiritual Mentor, but he did something unique.

02;57;31;28 – 02;57;54;27
Wendell
He connected the Great to Mission in Matthew 28, where Jesus said, we to go into all the world and make disciples. We’ll talk about that as we get into this. Maybe a better way to say this as we go into the world, we have to make disciples. He put a strong link between discipleship of men and mentorship.

02;57;55;21 – 02;58;27;16
Dale
You know, Wendell, Jim did make a great point. Someone once convinced me in my past that a man living this life without a mentor is like being on a journey to a distant, unknown place without using the map. Wow. So I think it is critical to understand that to be a disciple of Jesus or to make a disciple of Jesus, we must first realize that our spiritual growth best occurs within relationships that can explain and demonstrate what’s needed really to become godly men.

02;58;29;04 – 02;58;38;18
Wendell
Well, that’s a great point. As a as a foundation, certainly talk to me daily about mentorship as a priority in your own life and spiritual growth.

02;58;39;12 – 02;59;09;05
Dale
Well, you know, in general, as we look around to see the growth of just about anything is never done by anything alone or by itself. You know, farmers and gardeners know that a seed needs the nutrients of the soil water and sunshine to grow into mature, you know, spiritual maturity takes multiple inputs as well. For me, the first time I remember being intentional about having mentoring relationships began at a Promise Keepers conference many years ago.

02;59;09;22 – 02;59;34;07
Dale
Dr. Howard Hendricks, who is now with the Lord repeated a major theme of his earthly ministry when speaking about the need for every man to have a Paul, Barnabas and Timothy relationship in their life. And I remember him directly saying that you can influence someone from a distance, but you can only impact them up close. That’s, you know, you know, that challenge has stayed with me, Wendell, through all these years.

02;59;34;07 – 02;59;58;28
Dale
And I discovered the significance of having all three of those types of relationships with other men. And so during our discussion today, perhaps we’re just going to focus on the role of every man having a spiritual mentor, a Paul, in their life. And then, Wendell, during our next session, I’d like to take a further look at that Barnabas and Timothy relationship that Dr. Hendricks challenged us to have in our lives that day.

03;00;00;24 – 03;00;15;02
Wendell
That’s a great foundation to talk about where we’re headed. And obviously that had an impact on your life personally. What has your spiritual training and life experience provided for you as a definition of mentoring?

03;00;15;26 – 03;00;39;12
Dale
Well, you know, at its core, mentoring is really the place where wisdom and experience are transferred from someone with an expanded knowledge in a particular area to another person who is eager to learn. It’s the old master teaching the student, if you will, but the mentor is the term that refers to the one who’s acting. And I use the term kind of like a lead scout here in the West.

03;00;39;21 – 03;01;03;24
Dale
We know what that is to send that scout out ahead to do the survey and looking out over the horizon and really kind of see what’s ahead so that they can warn or at least prepare those that are coming behind them. And I think that’s one of the great ways that a mentor helps that mentee or the learner really become more intentionally prepared for what lies ahead.

03;01;05;08 – 03;01;26;22
Wendell
Well, I think one of the key words you used was intentionally to prepare to prepare intentionally for what lies ahead. That is really foundational as we’re working through this. And I keep coming back to that word foundational, but that we have to have a foundation to build from. And this is one of the key one of the major keys to success.

03;01;27;14 – 03;01;48;23
Wendell
Let’s talk about the word coach and mentoring. I mean, we often hear coaching. A lot of people have coaches in sports. I grew up with coaches. People hired personal coaches. As they’re trying to develop in a variety of ways. How is coaching and mentoring connected or are they.

03;01;49;19 – 03;02;16;11
Dale
Well, you know, I think that there is a close relationship in them and certainly in the principals in some respects, they’re a coach and a mentor are really kind of the same thing And I know Window that you served as a consultant through your career to help develop skills and leaders both in ministry in the business sectors. But I think the difference is that a coach often has a limited time with those he is coaching, such as, you know, specific sports season.

03;02;16;11 – 03;02;59;02
Dale
I’m a football coach and so I, I have my team with me during the football season or baseball during baseball season. So oftentimes a business coach in the same way has kind of a limited contract. You might sign a contract with a business to help them for 90 days or maybe a six month contract. A mentor. On the other hand, though, often has an extended period of time to truly journey through life with that mentee, helping them to be sure that over time what really can be transferred in terms of wisdom will be, you know, membership or excuse me, mentorship goes beyond the limited seasons or contracted time to become learning in the real time,

03;02;59;02 – 03;03;19;10
Dale
day to day scenarios of lights. So coaching and mentorship might share some key principles, but I think the mentoring relationship typically has the benefit of extended time to put what is learned into practice. And the accountability deviated for character change and skill development to make it all last.

03;03;20;13 – 03;03;51;26
Wendell
I think that’s great definition, and I like the fact that you talked about character change as one of the key functions of a mentor where coaches, as you described, are so often there for a specific purpose to help you become a better basketball player, to help me in my leading in a particular area. If I’ve been in the business world helping put a business plan together, if I’m trying to apply, I’ll open a business, etc. So mentorship, character development along with some skill development.

03;03;52;05 – 03;03;59;04
Wendell
Let’s talk about a quick definition of the role of mentor based on your own personal experience.

03;03;59;23 – 03;04;28;26
Dale
Well, for me, I think a mentor is simply a person that you trust and you give permission to access really the extensive areas of your life. And then trusting that mentor as using that access to help give you some target and guidance design that will help you discover your true potential. Ultimately, a godly mentor may help you see ways that God can use you to accomplish the kingdom work that you were truly created for.

03;04;28;26 – 03;04;39;10
Dale
And I think that’s the main point, allowing access where that mentor can take a look at you and sign to and things that you you may not even realize. Hmm.

03;04;40;08 – 03;04;49;17
Wendell
Well, it’s good to talk about the spiritual aspect or the biblical aspect. Where do we see mentoring in Scripture?

03;04;50;13 – 03;05;21;15
Dale
Well, you know, in the big picture, I think it it begins with the need to realize that we come to Christ when we follow the teachings of Christ, we become, in effect, a lifelong learner. And I don’t think it’s optional to do that. In our spiritual journey. In Deuteronomy chapter six, we have the same this passage where the children of Israel and subsequently even us today as we read God’s Word, we’re told to love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.

03;05;21;29 – 03;05;45;14
Dale
Further, we’re commanded to write God’s Word in our hearts and impress those same words in our children. And I love how it it kind of talks about how it makes it so natural. We’re reminded that we’re to talk about God’s words when we sit at our home, when we walk on the road, when we lie down, when we get up, basically every space of our life, we are to talk about God’s word.

03;05;45;14 – 03;06;12;22
Dale
Put it into practice, use it to to make decisions and guide our lives through it. And I think that the words of God are so important that even the writer of Deuteronomy says, try them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your forehead and write them on the door frames of your homes and on your gates, windows It is that important to surround us with God’s Word, then use them as the foundation for everything in our life.

03;06;13;16 – 03;06;41;17
Dale
And then there’s also this aspect of community and with other believers. We find that Scripture describes relationships that are meant to instruct and encourage us. For example, Proverbs 27, 17, we are reminded that as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. If someone told me years ago that one man’s strengths helped to better hone, hone, or sharpen or precisely sharpen another man’s strengths.

03;06;42;14 – 03;07;08;18
Dale
You know, one of the first examples, though, we see of true mentorship and again, it’s there’s there’s many of them in Scripture, but one that jumps out, I think is found in Exodus 18. And Jethro, the father in law of Moses is watching Moses as he is trying to solve is as the judge all the disputes of the Israelis by himself, the children of Israel.

03;07;08;26 – 03;07;32;05
Dale
And obviously things were not running efficiently. You get the implication there that Moses is burning himself out and people were getting mad standing in line all day. So so Jethro offers Moses a new perspective along with an action plan how he can divide that work out. And he really helped Moses to truly serve the children of Israel better as a result.

03;07;33;14 – 03;07;57;17
Wendell
And they’ll you’re obviously very passionate about this, I can tell. And you’ve established even in just a few minutes today the military is biblical. It’s necessary for spiritual growth. It helps us in so many ways, obviously have story about this. Tell me about your own personal experience. When did you know that you needed a mentor? You know.

03;07;57;17 – 03;08;28;17
Dale
I came through the military and I went through college and was given serving in a lot of various roles in the church. But in my early thirties, I made the decision to change my business management career track and begin to intentionally focus on helping to bring key leadership values to the church. And I was stealing God’s prompting. So I began seminary work, and it was there that a professor that I highly respected saw some character traits and spiritual gifts in me.

03;08;29;07 – 03;08;52;21
Dale
Quite frankly, I did not see in myself then, through spending time with me weekly, he became my mentor and helped me to see a new career path where God could utilize my training and experience to impact the church. But it all began with walking with a hero of mine and asking him to mentor me and then beginning to learn from his vast experience.

03;08;53;10 – 03;09;19;11
Dale
He presented me with options for serving Christ. Quite frankly, I don’t think I ever would have seen or known. He did not tell me how to lead and here’s the important part. He showed me how to lead using how God had uniquely wired me. It was a positive experience. It was something that revolutionized my not only my Christian life, but I think my character qualities as a man and a husband and a father.

03;09;20;01 – 03;09;45;15
Wendell
Wow. That is transformational. It’s what it sounds like to me. What happened? I liked the phrase he talked about where he saw things in me. I didn’t even see in myself. And that could be, you know, on the negative side, things you need to improve. But in your world, it was things you have opportunities for that you may not even you may be limiting yourself and a mentor can help take the lid off.

03;09;45;15 – 03;09;52;00
Wendell
I think that was really critical. Sounds like the mentor found you. Is that a normal process?

03;09;52;15 – 03;10;11;22
Dale
You know, it probably is, and I would like it to be. And I think if men are really doing their job as well as the the the godly leaders in their in their homes or in their church or wherever they’re at, I think they will keep their eyes open for that younger person that needs to be mentored by them.

03;10;11;29 – 03;10;43;21
Dale
And in my case, you know, I was at that stage of my life, I thought I could do it all on my own. And when my mentors wisdom and his skill, when he showed me things that I was unaware of in my old life, that’s when things started really taking root. What I was learning then made more sense I had a better perspective on how to bring it all together in my life because quite frankly, going in and out of the business world and into the ministry world, there was a lot I needed to learn.

03;10;43;23 – 03;11;08;25
Dale
And he mentored me through that. But I’m glad that seminary professor, that mentor sought me out he saw me and and came to my rescue in many ways. You know, he’s gone to be with the Lord. He’s gone to be with the Lord now, and I’ll see him again someday. In the throne room of heaven. But He helped me to realize the need to truly be intentional in having mentoring relationships.

03;11;08;29 – 03;11;18;23
Dale
And I could not have asked for a better Paul in my life than Dr. Harold Weston. I will remember him and cherish the memories of him as my mentor.

03;11;19;16 – 03;11;35;01
Wendell
Wow. This has been rich. I love this conversation and so important. One last question before we wrap up. How do you find and choose a Paul in your life or how do you make yourself available for that Paul to choose you?

03;11;35;20 – 03;12;03;29
Dale
Well, you know, I think Wendell, it really kind of begins. First of all, you need to take a good look in the mirror. You need to be honest with yourself. And I think you need to be honest in identifying the areas where you need growth. Perhaps even vulnerabilities that you may have. And then when you know what those weaknesses are, you look around for another man that you have respect for watching how he handles and addresses those same growth areas in this life.

03;12;04;12 – 03;12;28;04
Dale
And again, here’s the caution. Don’t look for a man’s accumulated trophies or achievements alone. Don’t look at somebody that drives the car you want or something. What you really want to do is search out the man with the character qualities that you admire most and that you want to develop in your life and then start walking with that hero and someday you will be one.

03;12;28;12 – 03;12;51;27
Dale
I’ve caught on that phrase. You want to be a hero? Walk with heroes. And that’s a true part of signing that fall type mentor in your life. And Wendell, I think every man needs a Paul type mentor. And I don’t want men to forget that, that some men that are listening to this podcast right now, they may be the people that needs to sign that.

03;12;51;27 – 03;13;05;29
Dale
Timothy, they just haven’t been asked. And I would encourage all men to make themselves available to provide wisdom and guidance for another man who needs their encouragement on their journey. It can make all the difference in the world.

03;13;08;06 – 03;13;35;09
Wendell
That’s a great phrase that you just wrapped up words is it can make all the difference in the world. When you find a Paul, join that relationship and let them help you grow in the areas that you may not have even thought possible. And that’s that’s the design. I think this is I’ll go back to the word foundational for our spiritual growth and for being successful in what God has told us to be.

03;13;36;01 – 03;13;56;05
Wendell
Dale, thanks as always for your leadership thanks for sharing today. This has been very, very helpful. It’s such an honor to be able to participate in things like this and share our life and our heart with the men that are listening. And guys, you are the reason we exist. So thank you for for being part of this podcast today.

03;13;56;28 – 03;14;22;19
Wendell
Just a reminder that episodes are launched on the first and third Thursdays every month. If you’ve not subscribed, please do so on our website. Prior to this episode, we do release notes that go with it. Thank you again for joining. You are the reason we exist. We do all this to help every man deserve that opportunity. To become the little authentic man of God.

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The Spiritual Mentor, by Jim Grassi

The Spiritual Mentor - Jim Grassi

 

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About Wendell Morton

Rev. Morton graduated from Western Evangelical Seminary with a BA in Religious Education and a Master of Counseling Psychology, Rev. Morton was in full-time ministry for 17 years with both small and large churches. He spent four of those ministry years with Promise Keepers. He was the the US representative to PK Canada – serving on the PK Canada Board.

Wendell also spent 23 years in Corporate America. He built and led sales teams that worked with very small businesses and other groups that worked with Fortune 500 companies. He is gifted at helping identifying the next generation of leaders as well as helping those around him being successful.

Rev. Morton has a passion to help pastors and church leaders build growing churches. Having men come alongside the vision of the pastor, build a dynamic team, create a plan, and execute the model of “each one brings one” has been proven effective for more than 2,000 years. This approach is a great way for every local church in North America to grow while helping men better understand biblical manhood.

About Dale Eudy

As an advocate for ministry to men, Dale Eudy brings a combined background of leadership skills developed in the marketplace along with senior leadership experience in the Church.

Following military service, Dale earned his undergraduate degree and gained valuable systems and operations experience working for two prominent Fortune 50 companies. Responding to God’s leading in his life to focus on leaders in the body of Christ, he went on to complete seminary and served as a pastor for 16 years in a large church in the Denver area and as a denominational leader at the regional and national levels. With his background, Dale knows the heartbeat of the local church.

Dale’s passion is the discipleship (spiritual reproduction) of men. That passion is what drew him to partner with Men’s Ministry Catalyst. In his words, “The simple call of Jesus to follow him and to make fishers of men is the most foundational call in my life.” Using his spiritual gifts of leadership and exhortation, Dale is a great coach and cheerleader for those involved in the arenas of life.

Dale and his wife Kathy live in Highlands Ranch, Colorado and serve their home church, Cherry Hills Community Church. They have two grown children and a caring extended family.