In the United States, 53% of adults report having between one and four close friends, 38% report having five or more, and only 8% report having none. Yet over 60% of adults report feeling lonely. Young adults between 18 and 22 are the loneliest age group. In fact, it is said that there is an epidemic of loneliness in the United States and that it is “a quiet devastation,” leading to an array of health issues, cognitive decline, and earlier death. Loneliness has very little to do with circumstances and a lot to do with how meaningful our relationships are.
The Apostle Paul wrote from a prison cell to the citizens of Philippi, thanking them for their gifts, support, and encouragement. In the collection of letters that make up the book of Philippians, we see how much their friendship meant to the effectiveness of his ministry. Having a fellowship of “like-minded friends” encouraged Paul in his obedience and perseverance through many tribulations.
A meaningful relationship involves mutual respect, trust, and a common interest. We can have meaningful relationships in many settings, but Scripture warns us to choose our friendships wisely (1 Corinthians 15:33, Proverbs 12:26, Proverbs 18:24). Our behaviors, attitudes, and even perspectives can be significantly influenced by the people we spend the most time with.
Spending time with other godly men can strengthen us: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). I can attest to the fact that the encouragement and the wisdom of friends have greatly influenced my life and our ministry. Being a good friend is important, too. It takes intentionality. Consider how Jesus modeled friendship with His disciples. An unknown author made a list of practical ways our friendship can be expressed.
Eight Gifts that Do Not Cost a Cent
THE GIFT OF LISTENING…
But you must REALLY listen. No interrupting, no daydreaming, no planning your response. Just listening.
THE GIFT OF AFFECTION…
Be generous with appropriate hugs, kisses, pats on the back and handholds. Let these small actions demonstrate the love you have for family and friends.
THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER…
Clip cartoons. Share articles and funny stories. Your gift will say, “I love to laugh with you.”
THE GIFT OF A WRITTEN NOTE…
It can be a simple “Thanks for the help” note or a full sonnet. A brief, handwritten note may be remembered for a lifetime, and may even change a life.
THE GIFT OF A COMPLIMENT…
A simple and sincere, “You look great in red,” “You did a super job,” or “That was a wonderful meal” can make someone’s day.
THE GIFT OF A FAVOR…
Every day, go out of your way to do something kind.
THE GIFT OF SOLITUDE…
There are times when we want nothing better than to be left alone. Be sensitive to those times and give the gift of solitude to others.
THE GIFT OF A CHEERFUL DISPOSITION… The easiest way to feel good is to extend a kind word to someone, really, it’s not that hard to say, “Hello” or “Thank you.”
Good friends are a very rare jewel, indeed. They make us smile and encourage us to succeed. They lend an ear, share a word of praise, and always want to open their hearts to us. Most importantly they pray for us and point us to a closer relationship with Jesus. We need to be intentional in doing the same for them and spending time with them. Relationships take time and energy, and they can be messy. But we need them; we were never meant to be alone.
Scripture Reading: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Personal Application: Consider the kinds of meaningful relationships you have. What makes them good friends? How can you be a good friend to them? Battle the epidemic of loneliness by fostering your friendships.
Jim Grassi, D. Min.
We cherish any verse in Scripture that reminds us to keep focused and intentional about evangelism and discipleship. “But you, keep your head in all situations, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, discharge all the duties of your ministry.” 2 Timothy 4:5